It’s been nearly 5 years now since I wrote the blog post about choosing to be single and being happy about it. Today I’ve finished a book entitled Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After.
After finishing the book and recalling the blog post I wrote, I was amazed at the similarities between both, and how I seemed to be on the same wave length as the author.
In the past 5 years things have largely remained the same with me as far as relationships go. There have been no new developments to speak of and on occasion someone try’s to convince me of joining an online dating site. I have gotten older and am now on the downward slope to 40 and lost a little bit of hair on the top of my head.
I suppose I’ve softened up since the fist post on the topic and don’t feel like I should come off so hard anymore. I’ve learned that my solitude is part of my introverted needs. The need for alone time is a must in my life. Home is where I recharge my mental batteries and I can really only accomplish that by being by myself. I spend my days at the office working and interacting with others and that’s where I get my needs of a little extroversion fulfilled. It’s like a balance between the two personality types that each of us needs. Some need more introversion and others more extroversion, but we all need both. Going to work with people and coming home to no one provides me a great balance of both and allows me time to recharge for the next day. I’m still amazed at the mythology that married, or coupled people, still seem to believe in the false notion that if you’re single, you’re lonely and in need of a partner. It’s seem like an automatic reflex for them to believe that and make comments to the same. What they don’t understand is introversion and the need for solitude. I feel like most people believe that introversion is a bad thing, that there is something wrong with you. That’s not the case at all. It’s not a bad thing, it’s a different thing that extroversion.
It does get old when people are always assuming that they can bother me when I’m not at work to do this or that, to fix this or help them with minor problems that can otherwise wait until I am at work again. It’s as if they think I am sitting around waiting for something to do or waiting to jump into action to fix something because I am not married with children which would presumably take my time. That time, as being valuable if you have a family. But if you’re single, your time isn’t valuable at all and it’s okay for others to bother you on your time off.
Not true at all. What makes people think a singles time is less valuable than a coupled person’s time? Isn’t it a bit biased to think that? My time is just as valuable to me as it is to coupled person’s time. What I choose to do with it is my business and I value it highly just as a coupled person would value their time together highly.
Wake up coupled people, us singles can be quite happy, if not more than you! Our time can be just as valuable as yours too. Don’t feel bad for us, because you might actually be insulting us. If you tell me that you hope I find someone soon, don’t get mad if I retort that I hope you get divorced soon, because, you know, being single is so much better than being married. It’s a two-way street so yield the right-of-way once in a while. I’m still single and I’m still happy!
Download the pdf version with pictures here.